Thursday, March 22, 2012


I love Pinterest! Thank you Aunt Peggie for introducing me to the site. For those who don't know, Pinterest is a website where people post "pins" of prints, do-it-yourself projects, recipes, just about anything. The pins are usually pictures from websites and if you click on the pin it takes you to the source! I have invested a lot of time on that site and have had some great and some not-so-great results when trying things out.

Great results: almond butter, almond milk, rice milk, broiled tofu, tofu scrambles, pretty much anything tofu, shower cleaner, stain remover, and several household "hacks." Not-so-great results: vegan lentil chili. Yeah, so far I think that's the only one. It came out like refried beans with mushy lentils and is as bland as can be. I don't think there is saving this recipe. Usually I can play around with recipes and craft them so that I like the results but I think this one is truly a lost cause. I guess I'll use the leftovers (which is a heck of a lot!) as refried beans or maybe make it into bean burgers or something. My creative juices will start flowing and they will prevail!

On the homefront, my housemate is a huge pain. I know it's her house but everything is her way or the highway. As of today, I choose the highway. She doesn't understand why, when she's home, I am in my room. The reason is simple: I don't have any peace anywhere in the house except in my room and not always then! If I'm out in the "public areas" she is always talking to me. I'll put my headphones on and she still talks to me and doesn't understand why I don't hear her. Ugh. I decided to try being out in the common area when she's home (right now) and as I sit here typing she is trying to engage me in conversation. I was sitting out in the kitchen when she got home and she made a comment about how I'm out of my room. I don't think she realizes that her comments are hurtful when she is trying to help.She says she doesn't want "group living", i.e. compromising on the common areas, but it seems like she absolutely craves companionship. Right now, I don't want to be a companion to someone who's 40-odd years my senior.

Plus she's a counselor. Everytime I try to talk with her about how I feel about a situation in the house she starts to counsel me on how I need to work through my feelings and doesn't address her side of the street. Lately, she's had an issue with me cooking. I've explained to her several times that playing in the kitchen is a coping mechanism for me. Early this morning she "confronts" me, telling me that I'm in the kitchen morning, noon and night and if I'm not in the kitchen, I'm in my room and it's a huge inconvenience for her. Seven a.m. is never a good time to talk with me, even if I've had 12 hours of sleep, but it was especially so this morning because I hadn't had enough sleep plus I started a new IV med yesterday and I feel super sick. I told her I would be more mindful of her needs in the kitchen and she told me that wasn't good enough. I am so glad that I learned how to walk away but boy, I was pissed! I walked into the bathroom and guess what greeted me? Yup, a palmetto bug. That's it, I'm done. No need for a quick exit but I am starting to make plans and will find another living arrangement soon, hopefully with my man. One day at a time.

Enough of my soap box regarding my housemate. I was talking with a friend about all of this and she made a damn good point. A year and a half ago there was no way that I could've managed this situation with my housemate, my health and an intimate relationship. She said that I was doing phenomenal. Wow. The really amazing part is that I agree with her! Physically I feel like crap but I'm also in great shape. My body is soooo resilient considering all of the medications that were/are being pumped into my system plus all of the toxins that the lyme and co-infections are putting out. I am truly in great shape for the shape that I'm in. My drama queen of a doctor is getting to be too much so I'm looking for a local doctor. Hopefully that'll happen soon.

Staying in today: my man and I had a serious conversation about moving in together. A mature, adult, respectful, calm conversation. Now, that's a miracle. I had a proposition for him and now I'm letting him think about it. I am sooo impatient, I want him to answer TODAY! I also know that that is such an unrealistic expectation. And so I wait :) I realize that I am ready for this chapter in my life to end and for a new one to start. I was one of those readers who would speed-read (translation: skim over the words and have just a surface knowledge of what I read) because I was so excited and anxious to know what was happening next. I am learning to slow my reading down (figuratively and literally) and I am getting so much more out of it! But I can still be quite impatient. I think that might be "normal." Gasp!

Oh, it feels so good to vent!

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